I am a lecturer, researcher, counsellor, and writer about loss and grief. My work with grieving people, and with the other professionals who support them, reflects my understanding that grief is not only about our responses when someone dies, but about losing anything that is important to us. It may be our relationship, our dreams of having a child, our hopes and expectations, independence, jobs, home or health.
Living with the losses of life is not so much about getting ‘over’ them, as finding ways to live with them, and live a happy and full life that includes them. Grieving is an experience of making sense of our losses, of getting adjusted to a different life and different expectations; of growing around them.
'Motherhood Missed' New Zealand Launch at Tūranga
I am excited to announce that I will be officially launching 'Motherhood Missed' at Tūranga - Christchurch's new Central City Library - on November 27. Come along and enjoy a drink and light tapas from 6pm. I will be reading an excerpt from the book and you are welcome to participate in an open discussion. Here is the Facebook event with further details.
Gateway Women Reignite Weekend
NZ childless friends, you have a rare and wonderful opportunity to work with Jody Day in one of her Reignite weekends in Auckland at the beautiful Eden Gardens in mid November. Many of the women in my book 'Motherhood Missed' talked about how participating in one of these events was an experience that radically and positively shifted their perspective on their childlessness. Here are the details.
Interview with Radio New Zealand
On Friday I spoke with Kathryn Ryan on Nine To Noon about 'Motherhood Missed' you can listen to it here.
Interview with Huffington Post
A few days ago I did an interview with Huffington Post about 'Motherhood Missed'. Here is the story.
Today 'Motherhood Missed: Stories from women who are childless by circumstance' was published! You can buy it on Amazon, Book Depository, Goodreads and of course at a bookshop! As a paperback or an ebook if you like to read that way.
I have been talking to Huffington Post, and a range of other media sites about the book. My aim is to contribute to the conversation about childlessness, so that these stories become more readily another version of what it is to be a loving adult in the world, and circumstantially childless women feel better understood, and less alone.
The Fertility Podcast
Last night I was excited to record an interview with Natalie Silverman of the terrific podcast The Fertility Podcast, which is one of my favourite podcasts to listen to on my 45 minute work commute. Natalie will be linking to my book on her show. She's a great interviewer and it was fun to chat with her. I love how things like this make the world smaller; that we can make that connection even though she is in England and I am literally on the other side of the world, in New Zealand. Her podcast reaches all around the world to people interested in fertility issues or having fertility treatment. I recommend it.
Here is the episode.
World Childless Week 2018
World Childless Week runs from September 10-16th this year, and it's beginning to look huge. In a world where childless—and childfree—people often feel misunderstood, judged, or isolated, and families are usually represented as the 'norm' for adult life, the week aims to highlight the stories of people who don't have children. Each day has a different theme, and there are a lot of opportunities for childless people to share their stories.
I'm delighted to be involved in a competition about why it is important for childless people to tell their stories, and I'll be announcing the winner of that.
I'm very happy to announce that my book, 'Motherhood Missed: Stories from women who are childless by circumstance' will be now published on September 10th, to coincide with World Childless Week. More about that soon.
Life has done a fair bit of its ups and downs routine for me lately and my time in the UK will be more limited this year. But I look forward to spending June there, doing a little teaching, and meeting up with others working in the field. I'll be speaking at a conference around the Sociology of Reproductive Technologies at the University of Cambridge, and another that focusses on the use of narratives as a means of research and social action, in Enschede in the The Netherlands. Most of all, I'm excited about being in England again!
Motherhood Missed: Stories of loss and living from circumstantially childless women
With the manuscript submitted I'm very happy to be working through the publication process of this book, with a planned publication date of September 21st! The cover looks great, and Jody Day has written a wonderful Foreword for it.
Where to order grief resources in the UK
If you are in the UK, both the Growing around Grief and the A Brief Guide to Grief foldups are available. Please order directly from Heart & Soul Funerals via email to Jane Morrell at this address: